Time is an interesting concept in this autofiction. Annie speaks about waiting for A to come and visit her, even though it only lasts a few hours. Her obsession with him consumes her life to the point that she won't leave the house in case he'd call. She also avoided doing things that were loud, or would impair her ability to hear the phone ring. In fact, she seemed so hung up on A that she molded her entire life around the uncertainty that their relationship brought her.
She mentions not wearing a watch even though he does and that he would look at it discreetly. While he was counting down the hours until he had to leave, she was counting down the hours until he would come like he said he would. The fact that he would say "Only two more hours" "Only one more hour" etc, was shocking to me. If you enjoy being with someone, if you love them, generally, you're not really excited to leave them. For me, it felt like he was using her but she was so blind to it, only consumed with the fact that he was there.
Annie mentions that she was so caught up in the time aspect of their relationship that she asked herself "Where is the present?" Because in a sense, there was no present. It was constant waiting until he showed up. Then, once he was there, he was looking at the clock until he could leave and then it was her waiting again for the next time. She treats time as a burden, as something she has to get through instead of something she should enjoy.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Love Song--Bloc Party "Two More Years."
Bloc Party is a British indie band. The lyrics for the song "Two More Years":
In two more years, my sweetheart, we will see another view
Such longing for the past for such completion
What was once golden has now turned a shade of grey
I've become crueler in your presence
They say: "be brave, there's a right way in a wrong way"
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years so hold on
You've cried enough this lifetime, my beloved polar bear
Tears to fill a sea to drown a beacon
To start anew all over, remove those scars from your arms
To start anew all over more enlightened
I know, my love, this is not the only story you can tell
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever
Two more years...
You don't need to find answers for questions never asked of you
You don't need to find answers
Dead weights, balloons
Drag me to you
Dead weights, balloons
To sleep in your arms
I've become crueler since I met you
I've become rougher, this world is killing me
And we cover our lies with handshakes and smiles
And we try to remember our alibis
We tell lies to our parents, who hide in their rooms
We bury our secrets in the garden
Of course we could never make this love last
I said of course we could never make this love last
The only love we know is love for ourselves
We bury our secrets in the garden.
I'm not exactly sure what will happen in the two years that they're referring to, but I think that's generally the point. Maybe two more years until graduation, until turning eighteen and being able to leave their home situation. Maybe two more years until a wedding or, really, anything.
What I took from this song was that it's hard to be with someone with depression. It's hard to make them feel worth it, to make them actually feel loved. And, on the other side, it's hard having depression, regardless of being in a relationship. Often, it's hard to make this sort of relationship work.
So, what I love about this song is that instead of the lead singer/songwriter, Kele, telling his partner to simply "get over it" or to "move on" from whatever traumatic event was experienced, he's saying that he knows they're sad, and that's okay. "This is not the only story you could tell," I feel, is an extremely powerful line to exemplify that. This song is uplifting and helpful in that he's recognizing sadness and saying that one day, at some point, it's going to be better. One day, it won't hurt so badly.
And here's the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFtAvMCNm48
In two more years, my sweetheart, we will see another view
Such longing for the past for such completion
What was once golden has now turned a shade of grey
I've become crueler in your presence
They say: "be brave, there's a right way in a wrong way"
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years so hold on
You've cried enough this lifetime, my beloved polar bear
Tears to fill a sea to drown a beacon
To start anew all over, remove those scars from your arms
To start anew all over more enlightened
I know, my love, this is not the only story you can tell
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever
Two more years...
You don't need to find answers for questions never asked of you
You don't need to find answers
Dead weights, balloons
Drag me to you
Dead weights, balloons
To sleep in your arms
I've become crueler since I met you
I've become rougher, this world is killing me
And we cover our lies with handshakes and smiles
And we try to remember our alibis
We tell lies to our parents, who hide in their rooms
We bury our secrets in the garden
Of course we could never make this love last
I said of course we could never make this love last
The only love we know is love for ourselves
We bury our secrets in the garden.
I'm not exactly sure what will happen in the two years that they're referring to, but I think that's generally the point. Maybe two more years until graduation, until turning eighteen and being able to leave their home situation. Maybe two more years until a wedding or, really, anything.
What I took from this song was that it's hard to be with someone with depression. It's hard to make them feel worth it, to make them actually feel loved. And, on the other side, it's hard having depression, regardless of being in a relationship. Often, it's hard to make this sort of relationship work.
So, what I love about this song is that instead of the lead singer/songwriter, Kele, telling his partner to simply "get over it" or to "move on" from whatever traumatic event was experienced, he's saying that he knows they're sad, and that's okay. "This is not the only story you could tell," I feel, is an extremely powerful line to exemplify that. This song is uplifting and helpful in that he's recognizing sadness and saying that one day, at some point, it's going to be better. One day, it won't hurt so badly.
And here's the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFtAvMCNm48
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Bad Girl--Week 2
This book sort of reminds me a little of 500 Days of Summer. The movie is often prided for being a fantastic love story. The male main character, Tom, loves Summer and wants a relationship with her. When she expresses that she doesn't want this, suddenly she's the bad guy for making him still want her. Tom, like the Good Boy, are both selfish. They want her, no matter what.
At the very same time, Summer, like the Bad Girl, is also selfish. By stringing the men along and giving them mixed signals, they're equally to blame. I don't think either of them can handle the relationship in The Bad Girl because I'm not even really sure if they know what they want from it. They're two different people considering she wants adventure and something new all the time, which is why she goes from man to man and from place to place. It seems he wants to be settled. He doesn't want to take chances. In order for them to have made anything work, one would have to change for the other. As we've seen over and over again with our other readings, that's not a good thing. If one had changed for the other, and it would have to be a drastic personality change, then no one would really be happy. They'll still constantly desire what they've lost be it the personality they changed, or the one they didn't really get to have.
At the very same time, Summer, like the Bad Girl, is also selfish. By stringing the men along and giving them mixed signals, they're equally to blame. I don't think either of them can handle the relationship in The Bad Girl because I'm not even really sure if they know what they want from it. They're two different people considering she wants adventure and something new all the time, which is why she goes from man to man and from place to place. It seems he wants to be settled. He doesn't want to take chances. In order for them to have made anything work, one would have to change for the other. As we've seen over and over again with our other readings, that's not a good thing. If one had changed for the other, and it would have to be a drastic personality change, then no one would really be happy. They'll still constantly desire what they've lost be it the personality they changed, or the one they didn't really get to have.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Bad Girl--Week 1
Lily is surely breaking gender roles, isn't she? Instead of being a ruin-everything damsel in distress that just needs a man to save the day, she's more of a ruin-everything self-satisfied woman. Who doesn't need a man, but likes having one around anyway.
My impression of her was that she wasn't really interested in Ricardo. He was interested in her for that exact reason, just the simple fact that she didn't really care. She seemed to think he was pathetic and had absolutely no sympathy for him. She left him, constantly, and went to do things with her life. That's fine and all, and I'm not saying that she's wrong for having a life, but she's coming back because he's safe. She knows that Ricardo will just blindly love her anyway, regardless of what she does. If no one else wants her, and she's sure of that, she'll stay with him. Until then, he gets dropped as soon as someone else comes along.
Another thing that I found interesting was that she doesn't really seem to have a name. She's called Lily in the beginning, but Ricardo goes on to call her many different names, that typically have to do with status. A lot of them also have "ex" as if that's all she's really amounted to for him. Someone's who's just gone. Who does something, and then gets up and goes right to the next thing.To me, it feels like he's conscious that she isn't interested. And maybe he's not exactly thrilled to be with her either, but is just there for simplicity's sake as well.
My impression of her was that she wasn't really interested in Ricardo. He was interested in her for that exact reason, just the simple fact that she didn't really care. She seemed to think he was pathetic and had absolutely no sympathy for him. She left him, constantly, and went to do things with her life. That's fine and all, and I'm not saying that she's wrong for having a life, but she's coming back because he's safe. She knows that Ricardo will just blindly love her anyway, regardless of what she does. If no one else wants her, and she's sure of that, she'll stay with him. Until then, he gets dropped as soon as someone else comes along.
Another thing that I found interesting was that she doesn't really seem to have a name. She's called Lily in the beginning, but Ricardo goes on to call her many different names, that typically have to do with status. A lot of them also have "ex" as if that's all she's really amounted to for him. Someone's who's just gone. Who does something, and then gets up and goes right to the next thing.To me, it feels like he's conscious that she isn't interested. And maybe he's not exactly thrilled to be with her either, but is just there for simplicity's sake as well.
I Am Love and Solaris
I Am Love:
It was obvious to me that Emma, like we've been seeing throughout the course of the semester, is dissatisfied with her life and is no longer in love with her husband. I feel that this is partly related to the fact that he had since left to take over a business. Yet, at the same time, I think it could also be her looking for something new. Her husband seems cerebral and somehow cold. Antonio responds to her and his interests lay in things that give off a nurturing vibe, like cooking.
Emma in and of herself is a complicated person. She's a woman who feels as though she deserves to be happy, to love who she wants. It's unfortunate that that person is not her husband, but she's trying to find what's best for her. At the very same time, this is parallel to her daughter who has recently come out and is trying to find her own happiness in a world that still isn't necessarily woman-friendly.
Solaris:
This film really speaks to desire and the loss of love in a different way, with an unearthly (ha, ha) chance at another go.
Chris wants what he can't have. Literally. His wife isn't human, and basically tells him that she feels fake. She feels like her memories aren't really real, and that she doesn't have any emotional attachment to him. Yet, after all that, Chris is just determined to keep what they have continuing, not wanting to lose her again. It could never happen, and she had more or less said that she's not even capable of being in love with him, but that thought just drives him further. He loses sleep over her, trying to help and thinking he could make it right. All the while, nearly everyone is telling him it's a lost cause, not even realizing that that was doing nothing but fueling his fire.
Eventually, he gives up literally everything to be with her, because he just can't imagine the possibility of not having her anymore.
It was obvious to me that Emma, like we've been seeing throughout the course of the semester, is dissatisfied with her life and is no longer in love with her husband. I feel that this is partly related to the fact that he had since left to take over a business. Yet, at the same time, I think it could also be her looking for something new. Her husband seems cerebral and somehow cold. Antonio responds to her and his interests lay in things that give off a nurturing vibe, like cooking.
Emma in and of herself is a complicated person. She's a woman who feels as though she deserves to be happy, to love who she wants. It's unfortunate that that person is not her husband, but she's trying to find what's best for her. At the very same time, this is parallel to her daughter who has recently come out and is trying to find her own happiness in a world that still isn't necessarily woman-friendly.
Solaris:
This film really speaks to desire and the loss of love in a different way, with an unearthly (ha, ha) chance at another go.
Chris wants what he can't have. Literally. His wife isn't human, and basically tells him that she feels fake. She feels like her memories aren't really real, and that she doesn't have any emotional attachment to him. Yet, after all that, Chris is just determined to keep what they have continuing, not wanting to lose her again. It could never happen, and she had more or less said that she's not even capable of being in love with him, but that thought just drives him further. He loses sleep over her, trying to help and thinking he could make it right. All the while, nearly everyone is telling him it's a lost cause, not even realizing that that was doing nothing but fueling his fire.
Eventually, he gives up literally everything to be with her, because he just can't imagine the possibility of not having her anymore.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)