Time is an interesting concept in this autofiction. Annie speaks about waiting for A to come and visit her, even though it only lasts a few hours. Her obsession with him consumes her life to the point that she won't leave the house in case he'd call. She also avoided doing things that were loud, or would impair her ability to hear the phone ring. In fact, she seemed so hung up on A that she molded her entire life around the uncertainty that their relationship brought her.
She mentions not wearing a watch even though he does and that he would look at it discreetly. While he was counting down the hours until he had to leave, she was counting down the hours until he would come like he said he would. The fact that he would say "Only two more hours" "Only one more hour" etc, was shocking to me. If you enjoy being with someone, if you love them, generally, you're not really excited to leave them. For me, it felt like he was using her but she was so blind to it, only consumed with the fact that he was there.
Annie mentions that she was so caught up in the time aspect of their relationship that she asked herself "Where is the present?" Because in a sense, there was no present. It was constant waiting until he showed up. Then, once he was there, he was looking at the clock until he could leave and then it was her waiting again for the next time. She treats time as a burden, as something she has to get through instead of something she should enjoy.
No comments:
Post a Comment